How Slowing Down Transformed My Life

I tend to live life on a mission….Ever since I can remember, my mom has been saying to me, “Mandy, slow down!” I have always been a goal oriented achiever who tends to find my purpose in getting things done. My dad likes to call it my “tunnel vision”. But after years of living life this way I eventually began to adopt the mindset that, by moving fast and achieving, I am making a greater impact on the world. My spoken theology to myself and others was, “trust God!” But my practical theology was “take control and make things happen”. And only now, in my mid-thirties, am I finally learning that life is not a sprint. That God is in control and I am not. And that by slowing down I can, in fact, accomplish more and have a deeper impact on those around me.

This journey of growth started about nine months ago, when I had my first ever anxiety attack. If you’ve ever experienced one of these, you know they are not a walk in the park. I will share more on this at some point, but for now I will say that my anxiety has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Exactly because it forced me to slow down, to look inward, and to see the things that drive me. And what I saw was a woman who was very externally motivated. I saw a woman who was pushed forward by a desire to be the best, to please others, and to feel a sense of control over my life. I would have hoped to see a gentle and quiet spirit who trusts God at all times. 😉 But…not exactly. That caused me to do some deep soul work, much of which I am still in the process of doing.

Through this work I have been reminded of something that I have known in theory my entire life, but often fail to live out of. And that is the reality that my true identity lies simply in being the Beloved of God. That can sound incredibly simplistic, but the truth is, my identity isn’t in what I do. It’s not in how others perceive me, or even in what I can accomplish in a day, month, or a year. My identity lies simply in being His daughter. And my worth, purpose, and pursuits should all flow from that.

What I have come to realize is that when I actually live as if I believe that, I am able to see with more perspective. I am able to be more present with those around me. I am able to love more truly and deeply. I am able to soak in every sight and sound and appreciate the beauty of God’s creation. By finding my identity solely in being His child, I am taking the pressure off of myself to find my fulfillment in something external of me, and I am taking the pressure off of those around me to fulfill me. There’s a freedom that comes with slowing down that I have only barely begun to grasp. But what I have grasped has been life changing.

I have a feeling that I am not the only one who struggles with this. The idea of slowing down is a bit counter to our culture. I also get that there is a time for hustle to achieve a goal, and there are seasons of craziness while raising a family or accomplishing a task at hand. But what I am getting at is more of an approach to life in a general. An approach that acknowledges that our identity isn’t in what we can accomplish, but rather in who God created us to be. So if that resonates with you, I hope that you can rest in knowing that it is okay for you to just be. You have nothing to prove.